Motivational Tip #9 – Find Someone to Talk to and Trust Who Believes in You

This is an extension of the 7th tip about letting everything out.

You cannot do it all alone
Life is difficult, however hard you work you will encounter problems, even the best made plans will not be able to meet the harshness of life, perfect time management skills won’t let you do EVERYTHING you want to get done.

When I was 20 I hadn’t understood this, I tried to do everything, I read about time management and the promise of efficiency and I became more efficient but never efficient enough.

What I realized was that I needed to chose what I could do and what I couldn’t, this was very difficult for me, I had so many goals, such dreams and reality told me it would take longer than I hoped.

Get some help
I needed to let it out and to my luck one of my more senior colleagues took me under his wing and gave me advise, let me talk about my troubles and helped me with contacts.

Talking to him made a big difference he helped me get back on track, he let me talk about all the problems I had and best of all I wasn’t judged, I could tell him exactly what I felt.

Ask for advice
He gave me a lot of advice, but I learned that I could also ask others for advice.
I have made it a habit to talk to the most successful people in my industry and ask them;
Why are you so successful?

The answers you get are incredible!
You learn so much and you find opportunities that you before neither saw or understood.

Whenever you have a lot on your mind talking to someone really helps, my mentor is always there for me and answers when I need help, it is great. I can call him and tell him about my troubles, usually I have the answers myself but just talking about it helps me find them.

Help the other in turn
Don’t expect the other to work for free. Even if you do not pay your mentor make sure to be there for them as well. They might need a contact you have or vent themselves, make sure they know that they can always come to you as well.

Don’t lock yourself in, ask people who do what you want to do what they do differently from you, find someone you can trust to talk to and vent your problems.

Don’t go at it alone, try to find others that can help you and lend a hand.

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Photo Credit: UggBoy


Related posts:

  1. Motivational Tip #7 – Letting it all out, Singing, Screaming
  2. Motivational Tip #2 – Planning for Your Goals
  3. Motivational Tip #3 – Writing Down All Your Projects
  4. Motivational Tip #5 – Motivating Yourself with Self – Affirmations
  5. Motivational Tip #6 – The Master Decision (be happy)
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20 Responses to Motivational Tip #9 – Find Someone to Talk to and Trust Who Believes in You

  1. Good insights Daniel. Learning to ask for help is definitely one of the most important lessons I learned in my life. Interestingly, I was able to conquer this in business much more easily than in my personal life. In business, delegating and asking superiors for help was necessary for me to get the job done, so at some point I had to make that shift. But in my personal life, it took me much longer to realize that asking for help didn’t mean that I was a failure or weak. I started to call it “delegating” or “outsourcing” my personal life, and that helped a lot.


    • Daniel M. Wood says:

      Hey Melody,

      That is a good point you make.
      It becomes so obvious at work that we need to delegate, it isn’t as obvious that we need to do it in our home life.

      What kind of things do you delegate now?

      • Just a couple of examples: I often have my groceries delivered instead of schlepping them home myself, bring in a plumber to fix the sink (believe it or not I used to do stuff like that myself, even while working like a madwoman), have my rugs picked up to be professionally cleaned twice a year instead of shampooing them myself. Stuff like that. These things often aren’t as expensive as we think they are, especially if you don’t do them weekly. I’ve come to see them as another way to pamper myself. Just a little help here and there can make a big difference.

        • Daniel M. Wood says:

          That also ties into how much you value your time.
          How much do you make per hour? How long is this task going to take you? How much is it therefore worth to you to get someone else to do it for you?

          When you know that you start to see that delegating is really a way to make money. You can spend more time working and less time doing tasks that you shouldn’t be messing with.

  2. Bill Dorman says:

    No man is an island; don’t be afraid to reach out and more times than not through collaboration you can get more accomplished.

    I would tell anyone getting started out is to find a mentor/confidant who is willing to spend time and share their wisdom. Always going at it alone is lonely indeed.

    Good post and not much to add; I would suggest anyone reading this, that it’s a good game plan to have.

    Good to see you Daniel, hope all is well.

    • Daniel M. Wood says:

      Hey Bill,

      Thanks a lot.
      Having a mentor/confidant is very important.
      How would you go about finding a suitable mentor?

      • Bill Dorman says:

        You can certainly find mentors w/in your own organization or out in the business community through participation in Rotary clubs or leadership groups.

        As you approach someone certainly tell them you admire who they are, what they’ve achieved and then ask the big question “if you were in my shoes, what would you do”?

  3. This reminds me of what’s going to happen this weekend. I can go to my grandmother for anything it seems. She’s my confidant, and the one who always seems to “get” me, believe in me, and give me encouragement and support. I always feel better about myself when I’m around her.

    This weekend I’m headed to the Northern California coast with her and my grandfather; and it should be splendid. I plan on bouncing ideas off of them, gathering advice, and moving my blog and ventures in different directions dependent on what they have to share. It will be lots of fun.

    • Daniel M. Wood says:

      That is so awesome Christian.
      That your grandparents are a source of inspiration. Many grandparents get worried for their grand children and try to “hold them back to protect them”.

      I am glad to hear yours have taken the opposite approach.

      • Well, I guess that can only mean they love you, adore you, and want to protect. Everyone has grown up with different circumstances that cause the little quirks! :D

        • Daniel M. Wood says:

          You are very right Christian.
          That is what makes life interesting. Let your grandparents know that I think what they are doing for you is great!

  4. Wong Jia Jun says:

    You’re right Daniel. We can hardly make it on our own, thus getting help from other people or outsource is very important for us to push ourself to a higher level of achievement.

    • Daniel M. Wood says:

      Hi Wong.

      Getting help makes everything a lot easier and it makes you success come that much quicker.
      By being smart and focused you learn to see what needs to be done.

      Do you outsource much in your life?

      • Wong Jia Jun says:

        Haha, yet to outsource much, all by myself. I’m a person that deal with everything by myself, and perhaps yet to have the financial to outsource. :p
        But I know outsource can achieve more and much greater things out there. :)

        • Daniel M. Wood says:

          Hey Wong,

          It takes money to make money, huh? ;)
          One saying that taught me the value of outsourcing was that if it takes you 1 hour to do a task that doesn’t pay you anything, that is one hour you could have spent working on something that does pay.

          If you get paid 30 dollars/hour for a paying task it is worth 29 dollars to get the job done so that you can spend that hour on tasks that generate a larger income for you.

          • Wong Jia Jun says:

            Haha, nice words you got there.
            But many things can’t be measure by money if we do it ourself, but would cost money if we outsource it.
            For example, designing, managing our websites, editing layout, blog commnets, promote websites that won’t lead money to me directly, but somehow it will help in overall performance for our project – websites.
            My blog yet to earn big income. :p

            • Daniel M. Wood says:

              Hey Wong,

              I see what you mean.
              But my thought is that if there are 2 types of tasks.

              1. That make you direct money.
              2. That make money indirectly by helping the performance of your websites.

              If you get paid 30 dollars/hour for the direct money tasks and could do them all day, every day and get rid of the tasks that don’t make you money by spending 20 dollars/hour you are effectively making yourself 10 dollars/hour for every hour you outsource.

              It is an interesting though. Not always possible to do, but outsourcing is really of true value.

              But the benefit you get can be great.

  5. sissi says:

    hi dan

    xixi i will have a try~~xixi~~u know, sometimes, i do help all my friends to vent their problems. maybe some day i will do it , and to feel the feelings xixi

    • Daniel M. Wood says:

      Hey Sissi.

      That is great that you help others vent, remember to take care of yourself to though, that is at least as important.
      You cannot keep everything in just to help others, let them help you as well. It will make them feel stronger and better about themselves.

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